The Bipolar Fingers of a Warring Mind

Please don't read previous posts. My attempt at writing without inspiration are utter failures that reading those posts myself makes me want to cover my face with a bag. The way I write can be extremely bipolar. On one post, I'm very happy and humorous then dead serious on another one. I hope this is just a phase and I'll get over it - or at least the shift in mood occurs with a pattern. Moody Mondays, Serious Sundays, Funny Fridays, Trashy Tuesdays etc.

I've been reading the Life of Pi for the past few days and my mother made me promise I read at a slower, more stable pace. If given time (which is presently abundant), I could read a book in a day and instead of resting after an ending, I crave for another book. Of course, a financial burden. I am deeply sentimental. If I finish a book, my head turns into mush if I don't digest another one. Its like eating Shakey's Mojos and thhe basket suddenly runs out of supply so the mind goes into a state of delusion. This happened when I finished "Catcher in the Rye". I was trembling, looking for something to fight the post-book, cranial turmoil with (which temporarily was Hyperion by Dan Simmons). Just another proof of my broken sanity.

I also have weird thought patterns when it comes to purchasing. I want something and start imaging how hard my life is having to live without it, further convincing myself into needing. Then I ask for funds which I would have to wait for. While in the wait, I fantasize about how life would be so much more wonderful after buying the thing which by now, I could have needed just like everyone needs being loved. Then when I get the money, I get a last look before the purchase, all the wanting turns into cautious worrying. What if I buy this and its not worth the money? What if my financiers' support meant pain for them? What if I'll get tired of this item which a while ago I needed so much? Now, this proves a broken sanity is optimism.

My mother allowed me to drive the car from our small trip to the mall. By then, I was pretty confident with my skills in driving. In first gear, I nearly bumped into a lifeless car parking a few meters away from ours. I spent the standard few hours in driving school. I think this figures I need at least a decade worth of driving practice. Very, very sad.