I Need A Vacation

I am a student of a school that never sleeps. I work my gluteus maximus off to pass during school days and now a brief, two-month break from schooling just dawned, I guess I need break.

For this summer, we were told to work on our research, due January 2011 to ensure we wouldn't be rushing before the graduation. You might say our teachers are paranoid for letting as work very ahead of time but you don't know research the way they do. They aren't research advisers for no reason. My teachers allowed me to take a two-week break to go on vacation. I was pretty happy about it but I have a problem with my parents. They do not want a vacation.

I love traveling and submitting myself to a new environment. Change is my chocolate but my parents have a giant problem about changing their routine. The past few months have been hard for me because my parents have started to give up everything for working. They say they are working for money and a good life but a good life is not really how I describe my present status.

Parents have the tendency to love work. Working makes them occupied and it makes them happy because they can make their children happy in terms of what money can buy. But just like child play, it needs limits to avoid hurting others.  

The place I want to go to with the family this summer is Palawan. I am a fan of beautiful beaches and everything else related to nature. Palawan is ideal because going there doesn't require too much money. I asked my parents once about having a week off and hopping to Palawan, leaving behind all work and responsibilities aside from being a big happy family. I was turned down with the answer, "You can go with Bon(my guardian) if you want [but were not coming with you]." 

I felt like I was fried alive on the spot. It took me a few hours of thinking thoroughly and a few more hours to gather up the courage to ask them beforehand. I needed a lot of courage because a bad answer could have just killed me there. When I received a 'no', I was devastated but I recovered pretty soon. It is extremely sad to say that I expected most of it.

Now its summer and my parents are still not showing any sign of planning a family vacation. Her sister ,which is a mother of my four, amazing cousins, is planning their trip to Manila. She is always asking my mother for some tips on taking the trip. My mother is very glad to help but it makes me think why she wouldn't want to take the whole family out.

My father is another story. Anyone can describe him as a perfect father. He understands, he is smart, he is compassionate, he is everything that you would want your father to be. If I ask him something and he refuses, I start to think for reasons why he refused and I will find it pretty easily. I don't ask him for almost anything. If he says no, its never going to happen. 

I still appreciate the efforts of my parents on keeping the family financially healthy but we need more than money, we need parents to guide us in school and generally, life. If we don't get the guidance, they don't get good children. That is what a parenting seminar once told me. Now that I know that, I think I'm applying it to my life. 

I have a good camera, a laptop and some other expensive stuff but I don't have one ultimate need of a child, a supportive family. In terms of schooling, I don't get a lot of help. All the time they tell me to study but tasks like studying require inspiration. You just can't tell me to study if I don't have enough reason to do so. I think I deserve the feeling of importance. I think what I say deserve to be heard. If all of these happens, I might just study.

Its a hard world to understand and now, I understand nothing at all.