SOSE Open House

Its our exam week and I have been busying myself looking for reasons why the concept of reviewing for exams is not futile. 

Tomorrow afternoon, I'll fly to the capital city Manila to visit the

If you have read my previous entries, you might remember that I got into Ateneo's BS Health Sciences program. Ateneo is currently number one in my list. My mom and I will visit the school to be sure everything goes smoothly.

 See you there! 

Too fast part 2

I am a terrible blogger. How can I even sleep at night knowing I haven't blogged for almost 4 days already?

Anyway, here are my classmates (except two who were out during our last ever Pisay PE class):

Each and every face in that photo I have been living with for the past 4 years and today was the last day of our regular classes (next week would be exams and the following days would be spent chasing around teachers for the clearance signing).  

Of course it is sad. If all my responsibilities and all the rules just disappeared for this one special day, I could have chosen to stay at school grounds until early morning. I'm just the type of person who gives too much value for time and I am really not happy about having to leave these wonderful faces.

People often say that separation often leads to a greater exploration, with even more roads to map, and that should only render happiness - but when you have travelled with a group of crazies, singing, dancing, crying, and growing up together while venturing to new heights for four looong years, there would be an immortal bond. A bond that can't be explained solely by dependance or by adaptation but a bond that encompasses all of time, especially the fact that each and everyone molded a little part of another one. My high school class is undeniably one of the best teachers I will ever encounter.

And yes, even though I am heavily drunk with sarcasm and irony, I do have feelings.

Too fast

photography by Prince Henry Segura

According to my classmates, we have 3 formal classes until the final exams. After the final exams, graduation. A lot has happened lately that I forgot about time and the depletion of it. Several times have I already reminded myself that the moment where I have to let go will surely come, still my fear isn't shaken.

High school is really unique. In high school, you enroll a child, you graduate an adult. Its the 4-year stretch of unmatched growth rate. It is where most of who I will be will come from from and soon, I would be moving away and I would have to jump into another whirlwind.

The stench of separation just gives me unrest. 

Ugh.

I need a dictionary of curse words, at least a thousand pages, covering all profane words of at least 175 languages. Until then, I would not be able to describe what I think my life is right now.

What I have realized

When people hate you then you fight back, its fun and painful and you might enjoy it. But if you have taken too much anymore and you start ignoring your haters, it is there you will understand how they will hunger for a bit of your attention. So don't hate, or you'll end up becoming a follower. hahahaha. HAHAHAHA.

And here is the Filipina Queen of Poise and Social Healthiness, Ms. Tricia Santos, acknowledging my idea in a way that can't be outdone:

This was shared by a crazy friend who goes by the name Ayanne. The Ayanne
who would die for a group hug with the Eraserheads. The Ayanne na walang malay, the Ayanne
na ang tanging kasalanan lamang ay ang magmahal...

Matter of fact, I'm starting to like her.

I'm happy

I'm really happy even though I feel like I've been ran over by a hundred bulls then put into war. I'm dead (and) tired. We had to do the Charleston in PE and a backbreaking stretch of tango dancing ("Just in case the scholars don't get into science, they can dance their way from unemployment"). Our PE classes are proportional mixtures of fun and muscle fatigue. Only every after PE class do I feel the right to submerge myself in a pile of chocolate with an open mouth.

No vision just instinct. Thank you Dana for taking these pictures!

Contrary to the happy life I live now is my immediate past. I was depressed - but it took me less than 24 hours to get over months and months of sadness. If you have been extremely sad lately, just try out this simple method I have used on myself:

1. Realize using your whole being that you are blessed. If you think you are not blessed, you are wrong.

Click read more for the perfect soundtrack (with lyrics)!

Forcing happiness and rushing identity

No one can deny the fact that soon I will be in college so I really have to get over with the identity crisis and the unhappiness. Today, I forced happiness into my system. Its a tiring job but its better than just watching yourself rot away.

From now on, I will avoid all negative thoughts, all disbelief in myself, all my regrets and I will gorge upon whole truths which my friends will willingly help me realize such as I am loved and that I am capable.

Fate got me slots to the greatest universities in the Philippines, Ateneo, De La Salle, UP, UST, and even topped it all up with a scholarship from Southville Foreign University. That only means the world wants me to happy. God wants me to enjoy life and for the past weeks, I was only waiting to achieve higher states of decomposition ungratefully. There is really nothing logical to do now but to love my own life.

I am heavily blessed and my eyelids just need further distance from each other to see all that. And I will have to use my heart, as the fox has pointed out:

"...C'est seulement avec le cœur que l'on ne voit bien ce qui est essentiel est invisible pour l'œil. (It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.)"

-the fox, Le Petit Prince of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry 

College

I just arrived home a few hours ago from Jakarta and Singapore. Last night, the results of the UPCAT were released and even before that, the DLSU Results were already hanging around the internet. What a rude introduction to a new year. :-(

. 

My results are actually good and I passed the courses I have been reasoning out as the ones most appropriate for me. I got in: 

DLSU: BS in Human Biology. Its the course that embodies a two-year premed and a four-year med proper schooling. 6 years and I can already be applying for residency! Wiii!

UP Los Banos: BS Biology. Way before dinosaurs, I was already planning on getting to Los Banos which will be a few hours drive from the hustle and bustle of Metro Manila. I am a sucker for temptation and I just might end up as a broke, prodigal son. I need to veer away from distractions (which includes opportunities) in the capital city to increase my chances of finishing college. UP-Los Banos, from what I heard from friends, will be more of a schooling paradise where you can walk around the campus, smiling with contentment (imagine!).

-Still waiting for the results of Ateneo and UST.
-I also passed Southville Foreign University(SFU) through a quiz bee which only adds up to my problem of decision-making. They have this amazing course and kitchen where I can study to become a chef! I always wanted to be a chef just like a child wants to become a dinosaur.

I'm really excited about getting into college because I would really enjoy having to concentrate on a topic as opposed to that in high school where in one period you talk about the molecular structure of bodily proteins, in another you talk about the marginal revenue and the elasticities of goods in the market. You get tired of the incoherences after a while.

Now in Jakarta

Be forgiving. I was busy having fun.

First things first, so we arrived at Singapore and we stayed there for three days. I have planned to bring my father to the Universal Studios but unfortunately, the tickets were sold out. December is a money pot for amusement parks. I have been to the Universal Studios last month and I wanted to go there again but I can get over it. My father was also enthusiastic about the park and he was disappointed. I hope he will dismiss it as another reason to return to Singapore.

So instead, I went to stores and shopped a little.

The Christmas sale at The Orchard Rd. was amazing but still my wallet couldn't catch up. =(

I also went to Bugis, a street market, and eyed on several beautiful stuff.

Singapore is such a haven for people who enjoy window shopping and walking in the warm sun, browsing through epic shelves of outstanding architecture. Its my second time here but in seemed that I still have a lot to see. Singapore is wonderful.

My flight off Singapore was late afternoon so Mother Earth treated us to a show.

So now I and my father are in Jakarta with my sister and wonderful niece so I couldn't be happier. I was also here last year and I'm so glad I could come back! Jakarta is such a colorful city.

Early Bird Trust Issues

When I was writing a speech as Judas Escariot for English class, a rather random idea popped into my mind. Can you remember the last time you stopped yourself from telling the whole story to your mother thinking they would just forget about it? This is my answer to that:

I am in grade six and I was walking the way home from school. My route involves passing by the University Church which is grand with a high, platform-like roof covering its grand entrance several steps up high a wide staircase. It was a sight to behold and every time I walk its way, I wouldn’t miss taking a peek at its majesty. This day was different though because on the high roof, I saw a man wearing clothes similar to the school’s gardeners. Have they started to plant on that roof? I asked myself and took several steps nearer to home.

I heard the man on the roof shout at me because apparently, I was the only one near enough to hear him. I took another look and I saw him clutching a bible and a knife, he was tearing down his jacket and the shirt he wrapped around his head. I knew something was wrong. He was shouting at me and I was pretty sure he wanted to jump. Knowing I should listen, I listened and after I heard enough, I started running towards the nearby security guard station and informed them about the horror I witnessed. 

When concern becomes annoying

Its been a long time since I posted an entry. I went to Singapore, right? For that I missed a few classes and had to make-up for some assignments and take missed exams. Senior year in Pisay isn't really the most laid-back whirlwind around, to be blunt, I have been lost in schoolwork that blogging will become burden if I force it into my workload.

I am the type of person who doesn't enjoy seeing a problem then treating it immediately. I am the kind of person who sees an atrocity, waits for another, until I see a whole dozen of them then I start solving the problems. I like collecting tasks instead of doing them one by one because long streaks of work require less adaptive rituals than segmented labor. Anyways.....

I am a minor and I can't deny the fact that sleep is becoming a luxury for me. I sleep, at most, 6 hours a day and having the idea that a person needs at least 8 hours of sleep everyday is bugging me. I feel like I'm committing a mortal sin everyday by not sleeping as long as the experts want me to. Science high schools with poor time management is barely about sleeping. 

Someone who sleeps under the same roof with me noticed my cold relationship with nightly hibernations and he/she is very vocal about her concern. Come one. If only it was ethical that you did my work while I slept so you can shut up, I have done that already. Concern, when effect-less, is very annoying. When you see someone in pain, don't moan with him/her if you can't help.

(PS: The experts also say grumpiness can be caused by lack of sleep)

Singapore, lah!

Written on the airport to Singapore:

I’m going to Singapore. Surprised? The chances of me actually taking this trip was brutally slimmed downed by the DOST-SEI exam that I should take this coming Sunday. We decided the DOST Scholarship was minimal compared to an untimely getaway to a nearby Asian city-country.

I will be returning early next week, the specific date depends on my mother/travel companion who is plotting to extend our stay in Singapore until the next millennium. For the meantime, let me sip some cheap brewed coffee on this local coffee shop WHILE I fascinate myself with visions of Singapore, the nearby Asian city-country. 

Now I'm in Singapore and I feel like I'm in some show. Singapore is too perfect to be true. I feel like I have been living in the garbage bins then suddenly, I take a dip in holy waters. It is not impossible for one to be racist and imagine Singaporeans sweeping every other hour because microbiology couldn't have sprouted from here. Seriously? A city with concrete sky ways, city-wide rail roads and an extremely diverse population can co-exist with tree-lined highways, serenity and hygiene?

My mother/travel companion and I road a skyline tree-top swing. The whole
time we were frozen with regret. "Who's idea was this?!?!?!"

The Capital City

I have hazy memories of the capital city. My trips to Manila were usually limited to a few hours or at most, a night and a short day. I was ecstatic that last Friday, me, my five other classmates and a teacher, went to Manila for a quiz bee (and a lot more). Wihi! Two nights in the National Capital Region. Of course, I was excited. NCR is the nearest domestic address we have to "the city that never sleeps" and I'm going with friends who fall under the same age group and with the same preferences as me.

(Read more for more fun...)

The Diary of a Journal

As an aspiring writer, it is only proper that I keep a journal.

Its been a few years since I started keeping journals and success in such I define by filling up whole notebooks. I'm a big failure since I only get, at most, at the first third of a notebook. I find it hard to write an entry in the journal, later only to be compelled to blog it. At the end of the day, I realize I have made two copies of an entry. Knowing you turned your efforts into carbon copying is demoralizing so a few journal entries later, the journal is closed, sealed and thrown away in the vastness of our drawers. I start to settle with only the blog.

Still being a firm believer of journaling, I formulated a solution. I bought another set consisted of a notebook and a pen from the local thrift store at our province (total cost was like 25 pesos) and decided to open a new journal and start writing. From now on this journal will be a place to deposit all my hate and obscenity. It will offend society but will be truth to me. The entries in it will be too evil to blog and to scandalous to talk about so the journal should keep to itself. No more carbon copy work!

I bought the notebook for a severe bargain so don't dare comment on the rather abnormal cover design.

I now have several entries on this journal and it is starting to talk about eating disorders, bastardization of conventions and concentrated vanity. This journal I will gladly keep to myself.

Back into the forest

I’m back in our dwelling which is deep in the provinces of Iloilo. It's so unknown that every time somebody asks me where our permanent address is, the conversation turns into drawing virtual maps in thin air. I have to stay here until the end of the mid-semester break. The province is like a dead city. Not a lot of action but a lot of organic matter. It is only in the province that day long rests are considered legal.

For paying due respect, we visited the graves of our passed away relatives in the aged but magnificent Janiuay Cemetery yesterday before we made our way to our provincial dwelling in Sara, Iloilo.

I have to say thank you to Globe because now I can enjoy the benefits of a laid-back, rural environment without having to disconnect from the internet. My sister is letting me (ab)use her Globe Tattoo stick and Globe has a promo where for P 50, you get 24 hours of unlimited internet access. Yahoo! Browsing the internet is cool, browsing the internet in the middle of mountain ranges in an unknown area - even cooler.

I survived the first day

If I have nothing to do, I just take photos of whatever, usually myself.

I don't really expect a lot of enjoyment from the sports intramural because I am a sucker for anything that involves hitting a ball, running, swimming or working with group mates. I'm just happy I survived the first day alive although I could remember some mini faints just by standing around a lot of sporty people.

(This picture was edited so the colors are not accurate. I was not that pale.)

Just for the sake of doing something coherent, I decided to join the boys' seniors vs. sophomores volleyball game - bad idea. First few seconds in the court and I was already dumb scared of being the reason of defeat. So my shaken knees proved my efforts futile. It was there I accepted the fact that a career in sports be scratched off my list. 

I have another two days to survive and I will try to enjoy survival. 

A weekend away

Thanks to the barangay and SK elections, Monday was declared a holiday and I had a chance to visit my home almost a hundred kilometers away from the city. Its my first visit since the start of my senior year because I couldn't snatch ample time to visit the farmhouse.

We now have a  egg-laying chickens. They scare me a lot.

The egg on the right is your average. The one on the right is a mutant. Scary. We might be hatching Godzilla soon!

I had these hugging monkey dolls maybe since conception.They have Velcro straps so you can "un-hug" them if you like.

I finally moved on to the continuous inking system. I can't pay an additional 10 dollars every time I buy a new Epson cartridge for the whatever smart chip they installed on it! Like, are they scared their cartridges will rise up and kill their owners that they see a need for the chips to guard their ink?

Intrams. Huh? Tomorrow. Huh?

I had to go to school today to ask about tomorrow. I wasn’t sure if the school year’s intramural would really begin the next day. Pretty obvious that I’m not interested.

I have failing joints, an asthmatic breathing contraption and some lame lubricant on my shredded joints. Sports is more of a torture than excercise for me but since this is my last year in high school, I will try to enjoy anyway.

Also on my tumblr.

A Video

So, hello everyone. Sorry that my blog went into a little comatose (do you need to be sorry when you go comatose?). I have been busy lately because, as I have said in my previous post, its exams week. I don't study much but it takes a lot for me to cope with the stress (extreme exposure to entertainment and multimedia productions are my favorite coping mechanisms).

So down here is a video project I did to relax and promote myself.

"A Day Full of Running"

I am relaunching myself as both a photographer and a video maker. The blog for all my works is leolutero.wordpress.com.  I just started so don't expect a lot of content there already.

PS: I'm considering getting an HD camera. My current video camera isn't HD and a little bit beaten up although the quality of the footage it produces is impeccable. For the meantime, I try my best to do video jobs and probably, I will realize along the way if I really do want to be a filmmaker.

Examinasyon

Exams week is back and my blog will go on to a little hiatus. Its so little that it might not even exist because in times where stress is at maximum, I blog to relax.

I have been using my Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 lens lately. I missed its perfection. The tiny mass of it, the feel and the very classic bokeh. I'm falling in love with photography all over again! For the meantime, I need to study about dissociation of acids and bases and such....

Photos taken with the nifty fifty:
[Done a day before the quarterly exams. We arm ourselves for exams in weird ways.]

really happy about the weather

nice weather, stupid face

in the bushes lie a fraction of humanity.