Ode to Sickness

What is the best way to spend lazy days of bed rest? Writing poems, of course!

I looked at the thermometer

Eager to know if I have a fever

I drowned it in my armpit

And waited for a minute

I read the numbers

38.7 degrees Celsius it whispers

Shocked to know I have a fever

But glad it wasn’t from Justin Bieber

I felt the headache

Also the distributed muscle aches

I twisted and turned

Until the most comfortable position I earned

I was in bed for hours

It felt like I was behind bars

The sickness came to stay

I’ll pay just to make it go away!

Its been three days since the day it came

Thank God I feel less lame

But I wonder when I will be

Good as new just like a baby

-Ode to Sickness, an original

Ay, Kulangot?!?!

Have you ever suffered talking to someone with booger peeking out their noses? I know how awkward it can be. I went through it for over a hundred of times already, most of the time with the same person. Usually though, I’m not the one with the nose dirt hanging out. While writing this, I am contemplating that snot on the face will forever be more captivating than the conversation itself nor the speaker’s face.

Up to date, I have found no solution to this problem aside from implementing strict nasal hygiene.

 

Picking of the nose isn’t taboo. Even celebrities do it.

But you have to remember, privacy is a must in cleaning your nostrils!

My Worst Case Scenario for the Philippines' 2010 elections

One very good method in facing situational problems is creating a visual of the worst case scenario. Preparing for the worst is the best way to face something bad.

This is just a speculation and there are two possibilities, this will happen or this will be crap. Gives us the Math that there is 50% chance of this actually happening. Be very scared.

May 10, 2010, 5 PM. The elections are closed. A candidate wins. Supporters are crying while the opposition is crying harder. Victory! Defeat! The Philippines is trying to prepare for the new future without Gloria on top. Everyone is tensed. 

May 11, 2010 First day of the new leader. Extremely happy with his/her new literal chair. The President is supposed to sit on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the country.

May 12, 2010 The new President senses the smell of the old chair and orders for a new one. Somebody is claiming that the elections was a fraud and that more than 25% of the PCOS machines accounted errors. Everyone is in shock. The President, Senators, Party Lists, everyone who won were actually frauds. The shock didn't get a time to set in until everyone is fighting over who should be who. Confusion of self is filling the government.

May 13, 2010 The Philippines returns to stone age.

Be very scared. This seems to be a joke but every joke is half truth . Another 50% for me. Total :100%.

Be dead.

Dancing On Peace

The least likely people to do a remake of Lady Gaga are tough guys but the internet would not be what it is without its defiance of limits. So here is a remake of Telephone starring on mission soldiers from Afghanistan. No joke.



According to the description of the video, this is not the final cut. Lady Gaga is taking over. I never knew Lady Gaga and the Vikings had much alike.

REVENGE! Hallelujah

(If you are locked into religion, using revenge and hallelujah in the same phrase might offend you. Get out of here if it does.)

I expect a magnitude to agree with me that some store people are extremely annoying when they tail you around. They make you feel like a disabled, criminal celebrity because they think you need help in your every movement and you require watching over, in case you want to take something without visiting the cashier. I believe they might have encountered a lot of critics when it comes to what they do with their customers/store visitors but they don't seem to care. Do they think they are accomplishing something following people around?

Story:

A nice lady was beside me, browsing books in a big store. She was sophisticated, given she wears high fashion clothing and she is browsing the lifestyle section. A saleslady comes up to her and starts following her around. I followed the saleslady too because I knew there was some drama about to fire up. See the revenge? I'm following the saleslady too, successfully making them feel what they make me feel. But the story doesn't end there, fortunately.

After a few minutes, the nice lady was obviously so pissed off with her new human tail and she asked the saleslady for a French book. I was pretty sure she knew it wouldn't be available. After the saleslady's starstruck no, she said a pleasant 'thank you'. Unfortunately, the saleslady seemed happy about following her. After another few minutes, the nice lady was on the brink and finally, she exploded with a thunderous, "Why don't you go away? Can you like pick up a broom and sweep the floor instead of following me?". The lane we were in was silenced. The nice lady continued, "Here carry my bag and lets pretend I own you. There you will be working like a real lady."

I walked out of the store, feeling holy and touched.