My rules on getting drunk

My love to party is not unknown and at parties, it is very likely that I drink. And yes, I drink. A lot. I could easily pull off a David Hasselhoff drunk but instead of lying topless on a bathroom floor, I would probably just dance until I can't stand up anymore. I enjoy being drunk because alcohol is a wonderful solvent for my inhibitions and it just destroys my sense of time.

But of course, I drink responsibly. A lot of people think that drinking makes you a bad person. That shouldn't be a shocker because drunk people smash cars, throw fists and vomit(ew). But not all drunk people have to do those. It just happens too often for avoiding making a stereotype.


Tomorrow, I'll be off to Cagayan de Oro and I'm pretty sure there we will have a party. So to consider partying and drinking responsible, I have a set of rules:

1. Never lie about it, especially to your parents. When my mother asked if I already started to enjoy drinking, I said yes. If she asked for a detail, I wouldn't lie about it. When she asked if I have already tried this and that, I never lie. When I go to overnight parties, I make it sure that they know.

What I learned about my parents is that when you never lie to them, they will be very lenient. They allow me to do all the crazy stuff I want to. I just came to realize that I should always remember whatever happens to me is exaggerated by their ability to worry and that I just be very honest. My parents enjoy not being lied to and I fear that when I lie, they might ban me from partying and all other unnecessary things I love to do.

2. Study your metamorphosis. Drinking really plays with the brain and it is not rare that people change after alcohol ingestion. You should know about what you become after a few bottles.

Yours truly turns into a French tourist and a loner. I just dance on the floor. In fact, I just want to dance more than anything else I turn down any offers to socialize. If my name is requested, I reply with a David or Patrice. Trust me, you'll shit bricks laughing at it when you become sane again. This step is very crucial because what if you turn into a Chuck Norris when you're drink? People who turn into war freak brutes when they're drunk needs companions to actually turn them into less threatening drunks. If you were born to be an alcoholic gladiator, there is still a wonderful chance that you can be turned into something more benign.


3. The way home. When you're drunk, parties might seem like they could go on forever but trust me, they don't. So before hand, you must be well aware of where you will be sleeping tonight and be sure that when your vision resembles a blender, it will be still safe to travel back home.

The most irresponsible thing you could do when you're drunk is when you need to drive and you actually drive. The second is when you let someone who is also drunk drive you home. The third is when you let your car ride you. Just be sure you have a safe way home no matter how brutally drunk you are.

4. Never give out your number.

Instead, ask for numbers. Hahahahaha

5. Limit the amount of money you bring near the bar.

Pulling out cash and handing it over to the bar is far easier when drunk.

6. Remember that the worst thing you could do in life is make people who care about you worry.

That is one of my major mantras so I really think twice before doing anything because of all the ugly things you could be in life, I wouldn't be a source of worry the most.


I know that alcohol is not really kind to the body but after a party night, I just make sure I eat very healthy (all greens and a matchbox-sized portion of meat) plus I sleep a lot. So the seventh step is to make sure that the night after the party is dedicated to recovery.

When you catch yourself crawling for alcohol, actually needing it and having mood swings just to have a sip. That means your addicted. You can stop yourself from addiction. When you just start falling in love, stop in the middle and just remind yourself, alcohol is only a friend. A friend shouldn't be abused.